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By the time I get to see a dog whose behaviour is so nervous their quality of life is compromised the dog is reacting to just about anything. It often starts with one issue and then spreads over time. There is one common factor, their owners have rewarded and encouraged the behaviour however unwittingly and the real level is usually lower than it appears.

The basic rule is to always use voice encouragement but never touch until the moment has passed. Use a confident “I'm not bothered by the problem, I'm not scared” voice not a baby voice and confident body language. Try to stand upright, make big hand gestures, look confidently at the dog. Don't stand there thinking “Oh my God, my poor dog”, it doesn't help, you just communicate your own panic and add to the problem.

Dogs can be great actors. They sometimes learn that cowering, shaking and skulking away is a great way of not doing what you asked. Always follow through commands, calmly and gently.

Leaving The House

True separation anxiety (SA) is rare. A dog with SA is a very timid, insecure dog who cannot cope even when you are there. It seems that any dog who barks, chews, messes or hurts themselves when left is automatically diagnosed with SA. True SA is a dog who is clingy, nervous and shows some of the same symptoms even when you are with them. Most of the dogs who have SA are dogs with dominance issues or who are bored, lack enough exercise and stimulation or no manners or training.

If your dog is happy normally, but barks the place down or wrecks it when left alone, think about proper training, games, toys and better exercise. If your dog lacks respect, jumps all over everybody, doesn't obey commands properly and steals your food, it doesn't have SA, it needs training.

When you leave, leave calmly, put the dog in its normal place, say “see you later”, leave it something to do and just go. Don't stand there saying “Please be good, don't chew anything, please be quiet” or you can guarantee they will do exactly that because you make them anxious then leave.

Triggers

If your dog starts to react as soon as you do something that makes it guess you are leaving, desensitizing with no result is the best treatment. So if, for example, picking up your keys sends the dog into a frenzy, leave the keys somewhere obvious. Every time you pass them, pick them up and put them straight down. Ignore the dog and carry on about your business. When you get to the point you can pick them up and get no reaction, praise the dog. Use the same trick with lifting your coat or shoes until the dog hardly bothers.

Start small and stay calm. You are trying to break the association of the first behaviour and the assumption that you are going out.

Confidence

If your dog is a very clingy, insecure dog it will never get better if you consistently pander to it. If your dog jumps at loud noises, don't run to it and start picking it up, petting it and sounding anxious yourself. Look at the dog, wave your hand and say “not a problem, look, I'm not bothered” and carry on. Don't ignore it, just look and sound like you don't care. If the dog is afraid of an item, go to it, pick it up, calm, confident voice, say “look, this is fine, not scared” and walk away. Don't take the item to the dog and don't try to force the dog towards it.

Dogs pick up on your signals and high pitched, baby talk sounds like panic. Constant stroking rewards and stimulates the adrenalin so you are not making it better.

Most dogs are described as having a barking problem because someone is complaining. Maybe the dog is noisy when left alone, or drives the neighbours mad in the garden barking at them. What most owners miss is all the other times the dog barks and isn't controlled.

Excessive barking can be due to a dog being in charge of you and/or your home, fear, boredom, anxiety and poor training. If your dog is in charge, you won't stop the barking unless you teach the dog you are the boss which means getting some proper help. If the dog is afraid or anxious, you must treat the underlying cause and give the dog a better quality of life.

The first thing to understand is that all barking must be dealt with to eliminate the problem barking. It is no good letting your dog jump around and bark because it hears a door slam or another dog down the street barking and then moan it barks when you are not there. So all of it must be under your control. When the dog barks, hiss a loud "no" whilst looking directly at the dog. As soon as it stops, make a fuss, say "good dog". Make it worth the dogs while to stop by praising it when it does. This has no effect on your dog barking because a burglar is outside, it just stops the nervous or showing off noise. Try to anticipate the reaction and stop it before the dog barks. As your dog gets used to this, watch out for it listening to a noise but looking straight at you. It is trying to tell you "look, I'm not barking" so tell the dog it's good.

You could consider a bark collar. NOT a shock collar, there are several that emit a loud beep when the dog barks. There can be some issues though with other noises setting them off, including other dogs if you have them. I have never had much success with ones that emit smells or sprays, but some results with the beeping ones.

If your dog reacts to outside noises then leave a background noise like a radio or TV on.

If your dog barks a lot for attention, you must learn to react better yourself. When the dog is yapping away, turn away, feel like you are cutting the dog off from you mentally and that is how you will look. Don't just "ignore" it, you can look too relaxed. Make no eye contact, fold your arms. If you are standing up when this happens, turn away, leave the room, if the dog has no audience there isn't any point continuing. Don't keep staring at the dog shouting this is what it wanted in the first place.

Never stroke or pat a barking dog. This is not reassurance, it is praise and makes it worth doing because it gets attention. If you think your dog is afraid or nervous generally, get some help to deal with this so the dog lives a less anxious life. You will never cure it by loving the dog more or petting it persistently.

Some dogs bark out of boredom. Make sure your dog has enough to do when you are out. Gathering up the toys the dog has access to all day isn't enough. Swap toys away regularly. Leave a juicy chew or bone, fill a Kong or activity ball with treats so the dog has a long period of entertainment. Tire the dog with a decent walk or even a play in the garden. If your dog gets bored alone, think about hiring a dog walker to break the day up.

Don't respond to demands from your dog that involve barking. Throwing a toy because your dog brings it and barks at you is not good. It teaches the dog that barking controls you and that it gets a response. Don't allow the dog to bark at animals or people outside, not only is this dangerous and annoying to other people, it again teaches the dog that it can get a reaction.

Join a good class and get some practise around other dogs and people if necessary but do take this seriously. A lot of people have been forced into rehoming their dog because it barked too much.

Chewing is a normal stage of puppy behaviour, don't get a puppy if losing your best shoes and the legs off your furniture is going to bother you. Their teeth and gums hurt and they also like to experiment with new things. A baby has a dummy or a teething ring, what does your dog have?

If you have a young dog who is in the chewing phase (and remember for some breeds that is a long time) don't leave it in a cage with nothing to do. A sterile environment will drive your puppy mad and it could hurt itself chewing the cage. If you use a cage it is a good idea to always reward the dog for going in with a chew. Cages can be a very good way of containing a puppy. Although rare, there are cases of puppies being killed through chewing hazardous cleaning chemicals or electric cables. Safety is paramount.

There is no point in having dozens of toys out all over the house and expecting your dog to chew them when you leave. If those toys are accessible all the time then they are not very interesting when you are out. That is the moment the dog will go and find all the different things to chew up. It is better to have several toys out and every few days swap them for some other ones and keep doing that. Leave a chew or bone or a filled Kong. You can use an activity ball or other type and fill it with treats. A few small cubes of cheese make that more rewarding for the dog too. It can't work out why occasionally a lovely piece of cheese comes out.

If you use a specific treat, toy or bone to amuse your dog when left, always remove it when you return. Your dog will soon realise these special things only exist when you are out. With limited access, they tend to appreciate the toy or food more.

One of my favourite tricks is to give the dog a chew or bone in a taped up cardboard box. The dog will love chewing up the box to get at the treat and the whole thing is much more rewarding than just a chew.

Make sure your dog is occupied and preferably tired when you leave. Older dogs can chew out of boredom. A walk before you go to work or even a good play in the garden can tire them out. Some dogs like having a radio or tv left on or an old shirt of yours with your smell.

Clever and working breeds like to learn things. They need more mental exercise than physical. You can teach most dogs some simple but fun games.

Dogs can learn the names of several toys, some are better at this than others. Take a toy, let's say a rope and throw it, saying "fetch rope". Do this plenty of times. Then pick up another type of toy, let's say a ball and have one in each hand. Then letting the dog see both, throw the rope and use the command "fetch rope". At some point throw the ball instead and say nothing. If the dog gets it, just ignore it, throw the rope and command again. Then start throwing both toys and make a point of helping him or her to pick the rope. Once this is reliable, you can start again using a different toy from scratch. Dogs love working out which is the right toy and it is more stimulating than just fetching the nearest toy. In advance you can hide the one you intend to ask for to make it more challenging.

Lots of dogs are good at scenting out things. You can use this normal behaviour to make life more interesting by hiding chews and treats around the house. Under cushions or rugs or even spread a newspaper all over the floor, overlapping the pages a little. Hide a treat underneath and watch your dog trash the paper to get it and have great fun.

Another version of this is to get several plastic plant pots. Just take one to start with and let your dog see you put a treat underneath. Encourage the dog to turn over the pot to get the treat. Some dogs pick this up immediately, some use brute force and push the pot all over before realising they have to flip it. Once the dog gets the idea, introduce more pots and let the dog work out which one actually has the food. If the dog gets too good, buy heavier pots! You can also extend this for the dogs that need more work. Place the pots in different places around the garden rather than all together on the patio. Initially walk round with the dog, pointing at the pots as you find them. If you have done the original game properly the dog will realise that the pot means check for a treat. Eventually you should be able to send the dog off round the garden to find the pots and work out where the treat is. Always pick the pot up and put them away afterwards. The dog will lose interest if it keeps finding empty pots when you are not playing.

You can play a sort of fetch the human game too. This is also very useful if you are incredibly lazy! Get your partner to stand just outside the room and tell the dog, "go find X". The idea is that "X" will call the dog and praise it. You could teach the dog to bark or touch the person with a paw. Once the dog gets the idea, get the person to hide in a slightly more difficult place and not call the dog and so on. Only when the dog is reliably searching for the person can you swap people and names. The dog will enjoy scenting around and listening for clues.

I am sure that if you use your imagination you can think of lots of variations on this. Exercise, entertainment and attention make a happy dog.